


Tony’s Rule Book

by SneakyDangerNoodle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Because Procrastination Is Fun, Dum-E - Freeform, Gen, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lists, Or Cleaning My Room, Rules, Tony Needs Rules To Survive, Tony Needs To Stop Making Bruce Do Things Without Telling Him, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25350883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SneakyDangerNoodle/pseuds/SneakyDangerNoodle
Summary: A rule book made for Tony.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Tony’s Rule Book

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Rules for the Avengers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187722) by [arianapeterson19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19). 



1-Tonys not allowed access to money after four days without sleep and no solid food. Six bouncy castles are enough.

2-Clint and Tony are not allowed to be alone together for more than five minutes.

3-Tony is not allowed to bribe nine year olds for ANY reason.

4-Tony is not allowed to tell the president “if you were a stripper then your name would be 30secondsofpleasure andalifetimeofdisappointment.”

5-Tony is only allowed to own up to three private islands. It doesn’t matter if “it’s only twenty thousand dollars.” It’s still no.

6-Tony is not allowed to teach Steve about polygamy, with or without demonstrations.

7-Tony is not allowed to threaten twelve year olds with lasers.

8-Tony is not allowed to wear Peppers lingerie to flirt with Thor in order to see if Gods can get erections.

9-In fact he’s not allowed to wear Peppers lingerie for any reason.

10-Tony is not allowed to buy bananas to have deep throating contests with Natasha (he knows he’ll lose anyway).

11-Tony is not allowed to put a leash on Peter and pretend he’s a dog (even if Peter doesn’t mind).

12-Tony is not allowed to pretend he has amnesia is order to make Steve panic.

13-Tony is not allowed to punch security officers for “not letting me bring my armor in the restaurant with me.”

14-Tony is not allowed to have a pet goose.

15-Or a zebra

16-Or a llama

17-Or a penguin 

18-Tony isn’t allowed to make the toaster talk.

19-Tony isn’t allowed to send Bruce on a trip to Canada without telling Bruce.

20-Tony is not allowed to teach three year olds all the curse words he knows.

21-Tony is not allowed to talk in a British accent when meeting the queen of England.

22-Tony is not allowed to have blue paint, any other paint is fine, just not blue.

23-Tony is not allowed to force Dum-E to watch Star Wars.

24-Tony is not allowed to wear a tutu and go to a ballet class with toddlers.

25-Tony is not allowed to pretend Fury is with Hydra.

26-Tony is not allowed to give Agent Coulson a lap dance during debriefing.

27-Tony is not allowed to have gummy bear wars.

28-Tony is not allowed to leave a five year old with ten pixie sticks and a pot of coffee alone with Bruce without telling Bruce.

29-Tony is not allowed to give Clint a haircut while he’s asleep.

30-Tony is not allowed to put a ear of corn and a stick of butter in the microwave and bring it as popcorn for movie nights.

31-Tony is not allowed to learn swear words in sign language from Clint.

32-Tony is not allowed to give hulk a surprise party for his birthday.

33-Tony is not allowed to sing Can You Feel the Love Tonight whenever Fury enters the room.

34-Tony is not allowed to quote Mean Girls.

35-Tony is not allowed to fake his own death so that Rhodey will come visit him.


End file.
